The paradox of being yourself

Applies to anyone

I can sit here and write a huge list about how to be your authentic self. But it’d be things you’ve heard over and over again. The list might make you overthink, and even though it’d be practical advice you could technically use, it wouldn’t really help you understand the core of what truly being yourself means.

This is what the list would look like:

• Express your true interests

• Speak your mind

• Dress how you want

• Create without overthinking

• Lean into your strengths and weaknesses

• Share your story

• Surround yourself with people who get you

• Question expectations

• Follow your instincts

• Be willing to evolve

I’m not saying I know it all. But when it comes to building a business online, I’ve found it really interesting when people talk about how to be your most authentic self for your audience to really get you—or even just how to attract an audience at all.

And I’ve realized that all of these things come down to one single truth.

The truth about being yourself

Trying too hard to be yourself prevents you from… being yourself. It’s about getting in flow with your personality. Like, loosen up.

Be so relaxed in the person you are that you follow your instincts in the moment you get them. And since it’s common for us to consider whether or not we’re going to step on people’s toes while we’re being authentic, consider being relaxed in who you are without needing to put much thought into whether or not others will like you.

Personal development has made us think that we need to analyze everything about ourselves. One of the goals in doing this is to become your most authentic self.

And this is good—why wouldn’t you want to become more of who you truly are?

But most people take this journey to the point where they’re overanalyzing who they are. This leads them to want to control everything, which defeats the purpose of letting your personality flow.

Think about it. Isn’t controlling every action and overanalyzing things another means of trying to people please? Even if you argue that it isn’t people pleasing, you would still be going against yourself by feeling like you need to control every single thing about yourself.

Maybe I’m going to deep about this, or maybe I’m not.

But if I’m thinking of it this way, then there has to be other people out there who have also thought of it this way.

The cost of overanalyzing is an experience where you’ll not be satisfied with the person you are. Authenticity comes from confidence in your craft, not from trying to make everything perfect.

Effort over perfection is key.

Just be honest with yourself and in who you are. This alone will bring out the most authentic parts of you.

How you know if the truth is “working”

You know if you’re being authentic when you can do things that were once scary to you before and they’re no longer perceived as scary for you.

And this is the thing, it’s about perception.

God gave you the ability to think about things in such a way that you can choose to see the good (or bad) in things.

You know if this is working by looking at the results in your life. For example:

• If you’re attracting people who resemble your character

• You start attracting opportunities just for being who you are

• You are comfortable when you make mistakes, even if those mistakes are in front of other people

• When presented with challenges, you know you have everything within you to get through those challenges

Let me know what you thought of this.