Don't spread yourself thin in your 20s
Experiment wisely - don't try to be supergirl or superboy
Your 20s feel like a whirlwind of opportunities, responsibilities, and social obligations. Everywhere you turn there’s some pressure to say yes, to every project, side hustle, networking event, and self-improvement plan.
But while it seems like doing more will get you ahead, the real key to success is doing less, but better.
The myth of “doing it all”
If you’re in your 20s, you might have fallen into the trap of thinking success comes from juggling everything all at once. The thing is, going in too many directions only leads to three things:
Stress
Burn out
Minimal progress all across the board
If you allow yourself to be pulled in too many directions, you don’t have the chance to go deep enough in one area to make real strides.
The power of selective focus
Define what really matters to you. To me, that’s simplicity. Often remembering that I want to simplify things keeps me focused.
If you define what really matters to you, you’re good. Most people don’t take the time to figure this out. For example, in building online and studying a lot of online businesses, I see that those that: remove jargon and focus on delivering a clear message, often do the best. Whether that’s with engagement or sales. And it works for these businesses because they took the time to figure this stuff out.
Matt Gray often talks about simplicity—so go check out some of his posts on LinkedIn.
What matters to you when pursuing something, experimenting, building the lifestyle you want, or reaching your goals?
Maybe it’s being able to spend time with family, or being healthy, or having ample time to take care of yourself. If things like that are what truly matter to you, spreading yourself thin and doing too much probably won’t help you.
When you do one thing, focus all your efforts on that—without needing to think about what you’re going to do next. Use a timer if you need.
Saying no (without guilt)
Say no to things you don’t want to do.
Ask yourself things like:
Does this align with my long-term goals?
Will this take away energy from what I’m already working on?
Am I saying yes out of guilt or obligation?
It’s okay to decline. You aren’t rejecting people or things—you’re protecting your focus.
Saying no will create space for bigger wins later.
If you decline going to brunch with friends because you made a commitment to work on a business (or school) project, you owe it to yourself to say “no” to your friends.
Saying no can be hard, though. But in your 20s, it’s the most important time to practice this skill. If you build it early on, you build momentum in having good discernment for years to come.
Scripts for turning down distractions:
For social invites: "I’d love to, but I’ve committed to focusing on a project right now. Let’s plan for another time when I can be fully present."
For extra work/projects: "I appreciate the opportunity, but I’m focusing on my current priorities to ensure I give them my best effort. Thanks for thinking of me!"
For distractions during deep work: "I’m in the middle of something important—can we catch up later? I want to give you my full attention when we talk."
For shiny new opportunities: "That sounds interesting, but I’m staying committed to my current goals. I’ll definitely keep it in mind for the future."
Embracing a long-term mindset
Your 20s aren’t so that you do every single thing that comes to your mind. Instead, they’re the years you build a strong foundation.
If you’re going to experiment, do it with things you know are going to pay off in the long run. For example, focus on high-leverage skills like:
writing
sales
coding
networking
These sort of things compound over time and you will inevitably see results with anything you stick to.
A personal lesson
Personal story or example of a moment I felt overwhelmed from trying to do so much → if i’ve made a shift towards focusing on fewer, more meaningful pursuits, talk about the impact.
About three years ago when I started writing online, I tried mastering every platform. It didn’t work because before I even got to a focused state with one platform, I had to tackle the next.
I thought I was being so productive—so intense and focused.
But in reality, it made no sense. Cause I thought I had to say yes to every single idea I got. This only led to me feeling busy all the time, which led to burnout.
Then, I started writing on Substack. Now, I’m only focused on writing on here, LinkedIn and soon aiming to build up a newsletter.
So now that I’ve cut out a lot of things I wanted to pursue online, I’m seeing meaningful progress.
The key is less stress, more growth.
Practical takeaways
4 main takeaways for you.
Identify your top 2-3 priorities and focus on them relentlessly.
Say no to anything that doesn’t align with your goals.
Set aside deep work time to make real progress.
Think long-term and invest in skills that will pay off later.
So, what’s one thing you can cut out or deprioritize this week to reclaim your time and energy? Drop a comment and let’s talk about it.